Hi RJ Harrigan, I agree with you that nobody (regardless of gender) should propose to their partner publicly unless they are 100% certain it would be welcome.

In terms of everything else you shared, if traditional gender roles (for instance, about who gets to propose) are important to you, then it obviously makes sense to find a partner who shares that sentiment. I write a bit about the importance of shared values in relationship here.

However, for many people, adherence to traditional gender roles isn’t something that matters to them… and why should a man who doesn’t care about it be forced to propose to a woman who doesn’t value traditional gender roles either?